Anger Management!

"Get Out! I never want to see you again!" I shouted at him as my muscle started to get tensed and I could literally feel my blood boiling. My eyes almost popped out of its socket as I stared at him.

What do you think is my emotion looking at the paragraph above? Does it depict sadness? Or do I sound surprised? Or am I flabbergasted? Well, I am sure you do not even have to think and you’d know that the feeling depicted in the paragraph above is that of anger. Think about it, why does it automatically come to your mind that the emotion depicted from the paragraph above is that of anger? Well, it is simply because we have experience anger! Each and every one of us has experienced it! Don’t we feel that our muscles start to tightened? Don’t we clench our fists and stare with our eyes? These are the natural physical responses to anger. Of course, physical responses vary with each person, some may clench their fists while some may stare and hence how one expresses their anger also depends on their personality. In fact, the expression of many of our other emotions is dependant very much on our personality. What do I mean by this? Here is an example, if my personality is that of a quiet and conservative person, I would not yell and stare at someone I am angry with, instead I would just walk away and cool down.

So when would one get angry? In my opinion, I think that one would get angry when one gets provoked or even when one does not get his or her way. However, this may vary for different people. Anger is a very subjective emotion in the sense that everyone gets angry at different things. What do I mean by this? For example, if a friend keeps pestering me, I would get angry and ask him to stop, but another friend might entertain that person therefore not get angry with him.

Interestingly, if you realize, we don’t usually feel anger alone instead we would feel a gamut of emotions that is to feel many emotions at the same time. Let’s look at a very real example. If your best friend were to get knocked down by an irresponsible young driver who was speeding and not concentrating on the road, how would you feel? I am very sure you’ll be devastated at your friend’s death and at the same time raging with anger at that irresponsible young driver.

Another interesting thing which I did not know is that emotions can be classified as primary or secondary. Anger is a secondary emotion while the other feelings associated with anger are primary emotions because they come before anger. This can also be seen from the above example where you got angry with the young driver because you were devastated at your friend’s death. Of course, anger is not exactly bad as it is a natural emotion, the actions that follows after one gets angry is the thing that might be bad. Using the same example, if you were a violent person, you would find for that young driver, confront him and may even give him a thrashing. This action would be bad and therefore it is not the emotion that is bad but it is what that follows that is bad. Hence we have to learn anger management.

What is anger management? In simple words, it is to manage your anger, that is, to control yourself from exploding, so to speak. Breaking it down, anger is a violent or bitter feeling against someone or something and is a natural emotion that everyone experiences. Management is the act or manner of managing; handling or control (These definitions come from dictionary.com)

What we can do is that we can clarify the other person’s intent, focus on the problem and not the person, describe your feelings of anger to the other person and lastly let go of the anger. What is the point of keeping that anger and keep having negative feelings against the object or person? It only makes things worse and so the best thing is to forgive and to forget. That’s what God teaches in the Bible. We should forgive and forget. Of course being humans, it is difficult and therefore it takes time, but I am sure it is possible.

In conclusion, I think anger management is very important and we all should learn to manage our anger.

This week's topic is on Self-Awareness and Self-Esteem!

Hello Everyone! This week's topic is on Self-Awareness and Self-Esteem. Well, let me start with the definition of Self-Awareness and Self-Esteem. Self-Awareness is to be Aware of One's behavior, attitude, personality or individuality. As for Self-Esteem it is a person's respect for himself. Personally for myself, I do have a relatively high self esteem because i have had much exposure in life. Looking back at my secondary school days, I remember myself being on stage giving speeches, performing, giving talks and so on. In addition, I was part of my school's publicity team which publicizes my secondary school to the primary schools in Yishun. This Road shows also built my self esteem as only a handful of pupils were selected. This caused me to have a really high respect for myself. Hence I would say that I have a relatively high self esteem. However, it does not necessarily mean that if one has a high self esteem in certain areas of his life means that he has a high self esteem in all aspects of his life. Personally, I do not have a relatively low self esteem too. You may think that I am contradicting myself but no, I’m not. In fact, I think many people do feel the same way as me. This is because, like I mentioned above, in different areas of your life, you would have different levels of self esteem. For myself, I have a low self esteem in terms of courtship. This is due to unpleasant experiences with girls that I used to crush, hence, I am always seeing myself as someone whom a girl wouldn't want as a boyfriend. (Eh, please don’t make fun of me.haha.I'm trying to build up my self esteem in this area of my life) haha. So this is an example of me which shows that what I said above is true. Self esteem is very important in life as it helps you to go very far. What do I mean by this? For example, if I have a high self esteem in terms of my work life, then I would keep aiming to be better and I would become better as I would work toward that aim. On the Flipside, If I were to have a low self esteem in the same context, I would not aim far or high because I will always be thinking whether I would even make it and I’m sure I would not make it because I would not be putting in all my effort into making it work as I myself have doubts whether I would reach that aim. Hence I think that a having a high self esteem is important. As for self awareness, I personally do have self awareness as I do know the flaws in my life as well as the talents that I have. I have many flaws, who doesn’t have? I know the flaws that I have and therefore, I am trying to change. One example is that I get quite impatient with my students (I’m a tuition teacher) when they do not understand after I have explained 3 to 4 times. Well, I know that being a tuition teacher, I must have a lot of patience, and therefore, I am really trying to change and be more patient with my students. I do know my talents too. An example is that I can play many musical instruments. I can play the acoustic guitar, the electric guitar, the bass and the drums. In addition, I can write songs too. Also, I am aware of all the things that I like to do and the way I treat my friends and how I handle the work that I get. Therefore, I can safely say that I have self awareness. However, I have to say that there are still many things that I do not know about myself and am still discovering. I am sure that most people feel the same too. This is because, being young and not having much experiences, we would not have discovered all our flaws and talents. In a nutshell, I think that it is important to have both self awareness and self esteem as they would be of much help in our lives and would really bring us far in life.



yup. That's about it for this week((: Please comment(:


signing off,
Rasmus Chow(=

HELLO EVERYONE

Hello Everyone!Welcome to my Blog. Well, This blog is more for School Purposes but if you want to check out my personal blog, you can click on this link www.raztwins.blogspot.com . Yeah. And basically, i hope that you guys would comment on every post that i post, not including this, as i would like to see your view. So see you guys around and drop a random tag if you want to. see you soon!





Signing off,
Rasmus Chow (=